Confessions of a Broken Heart
by gabrielle myka
Summary: Rogue finally falls for Remy, she can finally touch, but the challenge is over now right? Rogue disappears to Muir Island, and returns a few years later. Remy...well you'll find out.
1. Realizations

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING MARVEL

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**Confessions of a Broken Heart…**

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She couldn't stomach the reflection in the mirror. The sight before her. _Oh Lawd it feels like ma heart is gettin' ripped out. _

When his eyes connected with hers all she could think was run, but her legs couldn't move…so-

'_**BAMF'**_

"_MERDE…"_

_**Gambit.**_

_**So how does it feel? **_

_**To know that you've won…that you're the **first **and **only** person to fuck the untouchable? I've gotta admit…you're good. Real good at what you do, **thief of hearts**, because you've got mine…and I feel like such a fool…is this how every other woman feels?**_

_**I can't breathe…**_

_**gloat all you want, if satisfaction is what you craved, here it is. Written proof that you've **won** the **game.** The **gamble.** The **challenge**. The **Conquest**. Yes, I gave in…and under false pretenses. But I'm a woman of my word and **yes I LOVE YOU**. I made **love** to you no matter how one sided it was. There is so much Ah wanna say to you but I don't think my hand can write, I'm shakin' so bad. **_

**_So this is it, I don't have to ask if you ever did love me just a little, I know my answer…lesson learned shugah. _**

_**Lesson well learned, don't gamble with a gambler. Anyway, thank you. **_

**_Thank you for teaching me touch…I've dreamed of that one moment…and it was all that I could hope to feel and more…_**

_Thank you for teaching me touch, _

_and that TOUCH---HURTS. _

_**Once Again Betrayed, Once Again Alone, & Broken**_

**_ Anna Marie (ROGUE) Darkholme_**

Anna sealed the envelope shut with the Queen of Hearts card he had given her encased within. Barely able to contain the sobs of anguish as furious tears splashed onto the envelope. Through blarry vision she placed the envelope addressed to GAMBIT on her bed. She roughly swiped at her tears and took a deep breath. She focused all of her energy on all of her belongings in her room and with a 'BAMF' she was gone. No trace of there ever being a ROGUE in the now empty and desolate room that she once inhabited save the letter.

She should have known…

How could she not?

He never claimed to be faithful, in fact he clearly stated he wasn't capable of doing so!

She knew from his memories how many women he'd had, even married and he would not, could not stay faithful!

He was unfaithful. Period.

He exuded it! For chrast sakes! Flirtin' with every woman he came into contact with within a hundred mile radius! Maybe even more?

But how could she help herself? With her it was somehow different than with the rest, she could feel it, others could see it. Maybe they were all blind but…

The heart wants what it wants and at least she knows. She can't regret it. She refuses to make excuses for decisions she makes. She is a woman who talks the talk and walks the walk. And she can take whatever the world throws at her!

After all, she's had a hard life full of hard lessons. Betrayal after betrayal.

She ought to be used to it, expect it, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less…

Remy Etienne Lebeau. The Prince of Thieves. Le Diable Blanc. Gambit. The King Of Hearts. Come on! With names like that and the rep. he's built for himself!

He was sin personified! Rugged looks, a face well defined. His eyes always held a laughter and at the same time edged with danger. The eyes of the devil but the most beautiful eyes I have ever set my sight upon…his lips were sinful and kissable. The power to entrance and capture you, soothe you and make you tremble in fear and desire. His body was made to tempt and exude sex. He was Naughty. And he was a good man all in all. He was dangerous, hard, rugged, worn by life. Yet he was also a lover, tender, warm, and heartful maybe thanks to his Tantie Mattie. Along with that he was a heart breaker, silver tongued, suave and smoothe. A gentleman and a playboy. How can a man be both at the same time! It's no wonder they always had such spectacular verbal assaults.

They were very alike in many ways.

She's absorbed him before…she knew all of him…that's how she had started to fall.

She accepted him faults and all because she had done many things she too was ashamed of. He had had almost a parallel life identical to hers. So she could sympathize and understand him. He hadn't known about her past but he was never afraid to touch her, pursue her, try to befriend her. She adored and feared his brash and boldness but always told him to fuck off cause she knew his type…yet she hoped maybe she really was different. Certainly her situation was.

But then again, that's what made her all the more enticing raght?

Once he'd had her…it was the same as all the rest.

Anna Marie sighed quietly to herself, tonight she would weap. Relent to the skies about another betrayal.

Then tomorrow would be another day.

She was Rogue, and she had learned to deal long ago.

Sure she was distant and closed off, but not to those that mattered. She was a kind soul that only stayed closed to others for their safety. She couldn't touch so she had been bitter, but now she could…she was a mutant but she never asked why. She was a woman who accepted people for whom they were.

She was strong and would continue to be…but tonight she was a broken girl again.

Another hap that is going to make her skin tougher.

Tonight she would cry herself to sleep, willing herself to let go. Because sure she's had her share of betrayal, betrayal by loved ones even, but betrayal by your first…your first true love at that…wow.

Tomorrow she'd call Wanda, Lexa, Emma, Betsy, and Kitty. They were her best friends, all of them could sympathize with her in matters of the heart and betrayal.

Then she'd spend sometime with Kurt, Bobby, and Pietro. Maybe even call Angel? They were her best guy friends, always jokin' and pullin' shit. She could definitely use a good laugh.

Perhaps after that she'd spend the day with Logan, Hank and Orroro. Her father figure, best uncle, and mother figure.

Last she would tell the professor of all her plans and inform him to tell no one of where she's gone. Tell her loving mentor and grandfather figure thanks for all he had done for her, for giving her a second chance, a family.

For having faith in her, a once lost and faithless mercenary. She was the second best killer and probably one of the futures top five most powerful mutants. Irene always told her she'd have a hard life, and it was just beginning.

After tomorrow she would leave her family again, for the fourth time. Where she was goin'?

Muir Island. Where no one would find her.

To start the healing.

Start a new.

_**These are the confessions of my broken heart.**_

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A/N: _This isn't a one-shot and I know I've got to really update my other stories but I had to post this before I forgot this lil heart breaker. T_

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	2. Sympathize

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**Sympathize.**

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_Did I do it t'hurt her? Oui._

_Because she hurt me? Oui._

_But I spose' we both deserve dis. I reckon m' had it comin' parce que de femme was a challenge in de beginnin'. An' maybe dis be karma for de hearts m' broke, de deeds m' did?_

_Oui, m' love de fille buh after what appen' tween m' an' Belle- all m' can say is dat ol habits are hard t' break an' Rogue be payin' for it, as well as m' for her actions an' past…_

_We just two people who knows nothin' buh hurt so what do we do? We hurt those we love._

_An'at de same time love each other wit dis fiercest passion…sometime it don' make sense buh we know we need each other an want each other so we keep comin' back._

_Did I succeed in hurtin' er? Oui._

_Bonne now we even neh?_

_Oui m' love er! Oui! She love me! _

_So why we playin' at dis? Why we hurt each other? Pourqoi?_

_M' don' know. Does anyone ever know?_

_Love- it all tings at once. Passion, pain, joy, sadness, it's all things…among dose tings confusin'._

_M' relationship wit Anna Marie Darkholme…Rogue, is a very difficult an' complicated relationship._

_In de beginnin' oui, m' felt sometin. She be different. De oddest fille, not the typical belle_

_Buh somehow m' knew she was a looker trough all dat cakey clown makeup. De day she wiped all dat merde offa er' face, Dieu._

_Den m' learnt of her powers, an' I had sympathy for de fille. It be very hard to not be able to do sometin' dat every one takes fo' granted. I could feel her sadness o'er it._

_She was quiet and stayed secluded for th' mos' part. Dat I could understand, she feared hurtin' others. _

_Buh when yo got t' know er' she be de warmest and caring femme. _

_Git on er' bad side an' Dieu…Dieu elp yah!_

_Dat femme know how ta talk! An' back it up._

_M' bein' me, I pursued er. I tought it was fun rilin' er up, gettin' that temper ta flare and she gave back as good as she got. I wanted ta cheer er' up, no fille should have to feel dat alone._

_Somewhere long' de good humored banter, de flirtatious licks, heated gazes, and close calls-we fell in love. Neither of us knew, dough de Wolverine an Kurt were always givin' m' a hard time. Over protective hommes, can blame dem dough (smirks) m' Remy Lebeau after all. Bien sur ev'ry homme has his amour neh? So m' was hers an' she was mine._

_Oui it had a lot to do wit her powers, so m' got to know er' outside de physical._

_Buh we ad' a loooong way t' go. We were young enfants, still are bebes. We two are too hesitant to trust._

_Maybe we shoulda stay friends non? Coulda avoid all de pain an de heartache non?_

_Buh we all human, we can' resist it. (Specially when de fille be dat belle.)_

_She couldn' resist Remy neither. De heart want what it want._

_Somewhere tween de five years m' known er we both fell._

_M' not gonna go into dose years….yet. Ry now m' wanna recall what m' did._

_M' Tante Mattie always tol' m', **when y'find de right fille y'never let er go y' ear!** An' she also said **ya got t' give n' take, no one be perfect…an' dat anot'er wrong keep makin' it wrong.**_

(SIGHS) _So why m' here feelin de way dat I feel?_

_Cause dat night I felt it. M' finally knew it. I had de feelin' before buh dat night I knew it wit clarity._

_Didn' stop me from doin' what I did later though…_

_Havin' ya ever done summn' soo stupid buh at de moment ya weren't tinkin' straight? Yo mind jus did what it did an when ya try ta explain why yo did it, it don make no sensce to nobody?_

_Empathy an sympathy. Hmm…M' know why Rogue did it now. _

_Now try multiplyin dat by t'ousands._

_Rogue's powers be tricky. No one not even her understand it. She born dat way so m' can't judge, so she just a human too buh wit de weight of those powers? Who would be in deir right mind._

_Rogue is a fille who has to think out every action an' movement. _

_How can me blame her for actin' rash now?_

_Sure differen' situations. Buh it be de same when it get down to it._

_She always has dis look, a look I only see when she look at me sometimes._

_Regret._

_She never stopped apologizin'. M' said it was okay. Maybe m' shoulda said it wasn't…_

(Sighs) _We both two people dealt a bad hand an' reacted the only way we could at the time an' moment._

_Do I forgive her and understand why she did what she did **now**? Oui._

_An how do I feel? M' can't rightly say._

_When will both our lives just be good an' right fo once? Don' we deserve eachother yet, after all we been through in life?_

_When will that be eh? Who can say neh?_

Broken out of his deep thought he silently made his way to her room, he didn't know what to expect or say but…he had to see her.

Hesitantly he knocked on her door. No answer, he expected as much. The door was locked so usin' his skills he picked the lock and silently entered her room.

Remy LeBeau picked up the envelope addressed to him 'GAMBIT'. He took it gingerly into his hands. He wasn't sure if he wanted to read it…He took a seat on the neatly made bed.

Still clutchin' at the letter he took a look around the room. No sign of his Rogue at all, save the letter. The room was still, white walls that were once a lavish emerald and pistachio green, completely scrubbed of all that was her.

An image of her face in the reflection in the mirror quickly sprang into his mind. He wondered if that was the same look of hurt and heartache he had worn for her as well…

He opened the letter and out fluttered the Queen of Hearts down into his palm. It was warn from constant caressing of the surface. He noticed there were old traces of countless gloss and lipstick smudges on it, from light kisses he's sure. All of a sudden there was this unsettling feeling all through out his body.

**_Ceux-ci sont les aveux d'un coeur cassé..._**

_(Dese are de confessions of a broken heart.)_


End file.
